two weeks notice.

two weeks notice: there are two weeks of school left this semester.  5 days of classes followed by 5 days of review and finals. and then I get to go home. as much as I've been looking forward to finally being able to be home, I know I'm going to miss it here too.  I've made some great friends over the past few months and I know I'm going to miss them all very much.  Lucky for me, most of them live within a 4-5 hour driving radius from my house.

this past weekend and the days surrounding it have been pretty good though.  let's recap: hot dog day weekend; friday and saturday.  excellent.  sunday was decent, nothing too exciting or depressing happened.  monday was fun, went by quickly, and ended with a phone call on speaker phone to one of my best friends.  haha, it was epic.

all in all, at this very moment, I am completely content with my life, which is not something I have said in a very long time.

mind reader

today has been uniquely weird. first, we got let out of chemistry a few minutes early, then I actually understood what was taught in biology.  then in piano, not only did we get let out a few minutes early, but I was actually able to play a new song and it sounded good. See, I am my own biggest critic, so for weeks now I've been saying how I can't play the piano, I'm so bad at it, yadda yadda, yadda... but I was pretty decent when it came to judging time.

so next was psych, which i got to early since I had more than 9 minutes to run across campus.  i can't say psych was anything special, since only one person technically noticed my new hair color, and it wasn't even the person i wanted to notice it.  we learned about sex. woo...it was...interesting.  of course i sat there blushing and doing that 'nervous cough' thing i have.  whatever. after that was lunch and then i ran back and forth between the student center and my dorm like fifty million times.

my equine science class was excellent.  we studied for about ten minutes, then took a rather lengthy quiz, and then were released into the brisk alfred air after less than an hour of class time. it was rather exciting.  back to campus, had to park in the boonies, but whatever, that happens on mondays.  i called my mom as i walked back to my room and she told me i sounded 'chipper'. haha, that's funny.

the reason for this good mood today, i'm not entirely sure, but it might stem from my new hair color, or the fact that i went outside my comfort zone this weekend and hung out with some new people. played me some rock band, and rocked it.  

but i have to say, the reason for this title is that as i was reading through my friend's blog, i read something that i was pretty interested with.  a piece of advice he had given me back in January.  It must've been getting closer to me having to go back to AU, and I was in a fit of depression.  He was giving me advice about trying to be happier, which i always thought i should say right back to him.  Then last week I had this crazy idea that if i copy/pasted the advice into an email and sent it back to him, it might do some good.

I never actually did send that email, but I had been thinking about it for a long time.  so the whole mind reader thing, well it's because the day he posted on his blog, i'm pretty sure was the same day i was going to send that email.  and i absolutely love when things like that happen.  i don't believe in magic, but i do believe that if you have a strong enough relationship with someone, you can start to think very much alike.  

back space.

sometimes i wish my mouth had a back space key.  true story.  apparently i've always had a problem with not filtering what i say.  yeah, who knew.  i guess when you're in 2nd grade and someone from the school suggests that your parents send you to see a therapist, there's a definite problem. 

 i remember those tuesdays when my mom used to pick me up from school early and i would go talk to this nice lady who would give me stickers when i said nice things about my brother.  one thing i remember is that she made me create a chart that i had to write on every day.  if it was a good day, i could draw a smiley face.  if it was a bad day, i could draw a sad face.  she also told me that if i ever got the urge to hit my brother, that i should sit on my hands.  what a good idea.

as i got older, i found i still had a problem with filtering.  i'm usually pretty good about filtering with my friends, but i rarely filter with my family.  my theory on this is that my family won't disown me if i say something uber rude or whatever.  but friends, they'll drop you in a second if you push them too far.  i'm starting to realize this, yet when i get a thought in my head, i can't let it go, i have to say it.  it's like trying to hold your breath for too long, eventually you just have to open your mouth and let it out.

i need to figure out how to stop being this way.  i need to figure out a way to stop hurting the people i care about.  but at the same time, does this mean i need to figure out a way to stop being me?  i wish i had the answers...

life is good.

today was a good day. the last 48 hours have been pretty good. I got go visit one of my very good friends at school, which also allowed me to see yet another college campus.  after visiting a few friends at school, I am very happy with my college choice.  my parents are glad to hear that, but more importantly, I'm glad that I made a good decision.  so maybe I complain sometimes at being at school, but that's usually only on the weekends.

today was made even better by my visit to HP, where I got to see some of my high school teachers and some of my friends that are seniors this year.  Time flies when you're having fun, which is pretty evident by my almost hour long conversation with one of my friends from high school.

then I went to the barn and rode my horse.  well technically he's not mine anymore, but he'll always really be mine, because he loves me, and was very happy to have me ride him again.  and my mom brought him a donut, so that made him happy too.

tonight i went out for dinner with another friend that I haven't seen in a while and got Rita's italian ice for dessert. sounds like a pretty good day huh? i think so.

all in all, right now, life is good.

i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

only one more week to go, woohoo.  if there's ever been a time when i need to go home, it's now.  i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and i really just want to go home.  there's only about 10 hours left of this weekend before i get to spend my next two weekends at home, and i couldn't be more excited.

did you know the pharmacy in town is closed on weekends? yeah, me either.  it kinda sucks when you run out of tissues and your nose won't stop running.  so i've been downing cough drops like it's my job.  oh well...

Spring Break-itis

You know how some people get Senioritis, that disease that hits around mid-January and lasts until summer?  Well I'm convinced that there is a new disease to be research, and it's called Spring Break-itis.  Yup, that's right.  It can be brought about by gracious RAs that decide to tape the 'spring break sign out' sheet onto your door more than a week in advanced. Super.

Other cases can be brought about due to the fact that the weather has been gorgeous for two days in a row.  That's right, yesterday and today, the sun has decided to shine down on our small little town.

Symptoms include: procrastination, laziness, sleepiness, a desire to skip classes for no apparent reason, and uncontrollable laughter.  If you, or someone you know, is experiencing these symptoms, see a doctor immediately.

atheism.

I never thought religion would be a huge barrier between friends, but now I feel like it might be.  Ok, so it's not the biggest barrier, that would be me and my big mouth never knowing when to shut up.  But religion has become an issue.  What's the point in feeling special that my religion is different when it seems like it's causing more problems than it's worth.  So it's not the actual religion that's causing problems, it's the understanding and misunderstanding of various religions.  So now I'm questioning, what was the point of attending Hebrew School for so many years, if now I'm just going to wish that I was a different religion?

The thing about religion is that it's not something tangible like red hair, blue eyes, and glasses.  It's something that can be altered throughout your life.  I'm not saying I would change what I believe just to make someone else happy, but at the same time, what exactly do I believe?  I'm not entirely sure.  How am I supposed to believe that there's someone out there watching over me, who allows such horrible things to happen in my life?  [and I'm not just talking about right now]  You can't honestly want me to believe that there's a reason for everything, because that means that there's a reason my grandma had to die, or my grandpa that I never met.  Sorry, but I'm just not buying that "everything happens for a reason" philosophy.

Atheism sounds pretty good right about now.

Happy Mardi Gras.